So about a week ago, I was channel surfing and hoping for a few minutes of brainless tv watching late one night to help me unwind. I consulted my trusty DVR list of shows that I’d recorded over the last few days, and settled on Deal or No Deal (I don’t know what it is, there’s just something about watching people potentially win a million dollars that’s invigorating).

But when I pressed play, there was no Howie Mandell. WTF? No cases. No models. Just some other show that I was whizzing through on fast forward quickly to see if maybe Deal started late…but no. So I accidentally hit play and found the show that recorded from CNBC instead was something called Flipping Out, a reality show about a real estate investor named Jeff Lewis, his ex-boyfriend-now-partner Ryan, their assistant Jenn and a few other characters, and how they flip houses out in LA.

What a lucky accident that my DirecTV channel was mislabeled–this ended up being one of the FUNNIEST shows I’ve ever seen in my life. Really.

Jeff is extremely high maintenance (but with good taste–and I wouldn’t expect anything less from a GQ, good-looking gay man in 2008) and hilarious to watch, especially when he gets stressed out about something. The episode that I watched involved started off with Jeff butting heads with a client and quitting the gig, and then in between trying to get houses ready for selling, there was a sub-plot with Zoila, the housekeeper, wanting a few days off for her birthday. Jeff was not happy about this, and he asked if she could rearrange her birthday for a different week, when it wouldn’t clash with his schedule. Zoila, who doesn’t speak very good English, then tries to insult him by saying “Don’t bite me, Jeff” instead of “Bite me.” Then she says “Are you biting me, Jeff?” OMG. I was dying. Then the camera pans to Jeff who is dead serious, saying “Who’s going to do my laundry? Who’s going to make me breakfast? I think she’s being very selfish.”

This guy is simultaneously annoying and lovable, and I was riveted.

Then to continue the Zoila-birthday subplot, Jeff’s gift to Zoila is an oil painting–of her! And honestly, it’s really less than flattering to the poor woman, and she lets him know exactly what she thinks–she tells him she looks ugly and she doesn’t like it. I felt awful for the artist, who was actually there..yikes!

Now, Zoila isn’t the most attractive woman to begin with, but the artist didn’t exactly help matters.

Anyway, I could go on and on about this show–which I somehow have not been able to locate accidentally again on CNBC, but it runs on Bravo and you can read all about it here: http://www.bravotv.com/Flipping_Out. The schedule said it is on Tuesday nights at 10pm EST.

Grab a cocktail, sit back and enjoy this bit of fluff for an hour (or less if you fast forward through the commercials like I do–what did we do before DVR’s and TIVO?). It’s well worth the gander for some good old-fashioned belly laughs! Not to mention, you might learn a thing or two about flipping houses. I know I felt better just knowing that I wasn’t the only one to deal with schlock contractors out there…

I have just discovered the next best thing to having a personal chef.

Mr. Food No-Fuss Meals!!

Since I’m no Rachel Ray, and I have no time or desire to be (”baking homemade cookies” now translates into me Breaking-And-Baking–thank you Nestle!!), I decided to try Mr. Food No-Fuss Meals.

I was a bit concerned about the cost–it’s definitely more than grocery shopping, but much less than dining out–averages about $10.00 per meal for two people, with most 4-serving meals costing around $20.00–but with our BBQ grill sadly banished to the corner of our kitchen for two months while waiting for our back patio to be renovated, something had to give.

Since I had a $15.00 off coupon (offered to new customers’ first time purchase), I went online at www.nofussmeals.com, registered, signed up for a session, selected my meals, and I was all set. That was really half the battle.

I coerced a friend into coming to my Saturday afternoon “session” with me…and we had a BLAST! Though it took me a few preps to get my “chef legs” as I’m a real spaz in the kitchen. I was there all of an hour, prepping 6 meals in total. They have all these food stations set up, and you put on your cute little Mr. Food apron (I felt like such a pro!) and they even give you gloves and everything is VERY sanitary. All the stations have ingredients for the different meals, and they give you step by step instructions on how to put everything together. You put your meals either in pans (ready to go right to the oven!) or in bags (ready for the skillet!) and store them in the fridge (on your very own assigned shelf!) while you prep your other meals. The ingredients were all very fresh, and the portions were for the most part, better than I expected.

The coolest thing is if you have to put salt, and it’s 1/2 a teaspoon–the little 1/2 a teaspoon is in the salt shaker, ready for you! It’s so Doof-Proof it’s amazing.

Then came the taste-test time…that night, my husband and I decided to try the Fiesta Pork Bake thingy. Basically it was a layer of yellow rice, black beans, cheese, salsa and shredded pork (I got creative and added more cheese to the top layer before baking). It took all of 30 minutes to bake, and voila! We had a yummy meal that tasted just like Mom made it for us.

I was very impressed…and have since gone back for 7 more meals. And the most exciting part? Instead of asking me “what’s for dinner?” my husband now just picks a Mr. Food meal, pops it in the oven or skillet, and has dinner waiting for me some nights. (Last night we had Bangkok Thai chicken…mmmmmmm, tasty!)

Thank you Mr. Food! You’re our new BFF. I can’t wait to try November’s menu!

Most of you know, I’m an avid theatre goer…I’m a season ticketholder for all the shows at the Broward Center in Ft. Lauderdale (being the former Theatre Major, it’s still in my blood!) And I attend a spattering of other shows around town to feed my inner actress. I’m also a huge fan of Cirque du Soleil, having seen all the amazing permanent shows out in Vegas and most of the traveling shows that stop in Miami.

So a few months ago, dear readers, I was excited to take my mom and husband to a show called Slava’s Snow Show in Miami…which claimed to be “to clowning what Cirque du Soleil is to Circus”. The email I received compared the show to Blue Man Group as well…and having seen that show in Vegas twice (and I would see it umpteen million more times, it’s so good!), I thought, well this is a no-brainer. It should be fantastic!

No-brainer is right.

The show was for people with no brains. No knowledge of what on EARTH a good show is about. Maybe for people who have never been to a show??

At first, I thought it was just me. The first act started with a clown pulling a looooong rope out (with the other end somewhere offstage) and then after about 5 agonizing minutes–very long in theatre time–he proceeded to pretend to hang himself with the rope. Um. Okay…I didn’t find that very entertaining, quite morbid in fact…and quite honestly after the next 20 minutes of agony trying to watch the show, I would have gladly hung that clown myself!!

So I’m peeking at my mom and my husband, wondering if they’re enjoying the show so far…then the show continues on to have some other depressed-looking clowns (what the ??) standing there lip-synching a song in Italian? Russian? Can’t say for sure…and pretending to play the accordian…I didn’t quite get that either. Then a bunch more clowns come out, all with the same face as one of the main clowns–all looking depressed–and they’re just slowly, sloooowly, marching around the stage. Ok, people, I know it’s a Russian show, but surely there’s some point to all of this?

Oh no. Apparently not. See, I thought we were going to see maybe clown acrobatics with a wintery, white snowy theme…something exciting from the way they described it–but I was very, very wrong. I think they misspelled the NAME of the show–it’s not Slava’s Snow Show…it’s Slava’s NO Show…because there was no show. Unless you consider clowns stepping on people in the audience (yes, they actually started walking on people) and spraying them with water a show.

Not in my book. Not in my mother or husband’s book either. After 30 minutes (which ended with the aforementioned clowns stepping on the audience members, and flinging bottles of water around–and omg, people were actually laughing at this!)–and let me not forget, they spread this very large mass of spider webbing all over the audience, whoohoo, such fun!– there was an intermission. Which we didn’t realize at first because the show was so slow in its pace, we kept watching for something else to happen even though there was a sign hanging there on stagethat said “intermission” or something like that. Oh I get it, it’s Slava’s SLOW Show. Right, that could be it too.

In any case, we couldn’t stand to see any more after the intermission, we were afraid of what was next–especially when the ushers told us there was a big surprise in the second act (silly string? watermelon smashing a la Gallagher?), and my mother was quite frightened that she was going to be stomped to death by a wandering clown. We decided we’d have enough entertainment for the evening and went running for the nearest casino.

So…beware the clowns…send home the clowns, if they’re Slava’s clowns…it was definitely a Slow Show…and I wish I’d been a No Show and spent my $60 a ticket on something more enjoyable (like plunking it into a slot machine, that would have been more entertaining!).